6 Steps I Learned Along the Way to Adulting

When growing up all you want is to be an adult, and then when you’re a grownup all you want is to be a kid again. Being an adult gives you so much freedom but so much responsibility. Going into my late 20’s now I’m sadly learning that growing up means it gets hard the older you get and I have learned a lot. So I have been wanting to share what I learned or feel about getting older and maybe learning new things others can share with me.

“Don't you find it odd," she continued, "that when you're a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you're older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”

― Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State

    1. We Need Each other.

I feel like when you’re in high school they tell you how to do things on your own. I am a big believer in doing things for yourself and trying really hard not to rely on others. Crazy enough, I have learned that we might all be in this world to help each other out because no matter how alone you may feel, really no one is. We all need others to grow and change for the better. Without others it is also damn near impossible to do everything 100% alone. Other people teach us things we never knew and help us aka grow up.

    2. Everything Gets Harder

Early 20’s I moved out of my parents’ house into freedom. Paying half the bills and playing house thinking adulting was fun and exciting. Then the universe had other plans to teach me that it can be hard too. It really helped put me on my own two feet, pay all my own bills, and living alone for the first time really getting to grow with myself. "I am woman, hear me roar!!” Now moving into my late 20’s I have got a really nice car, nicer townhome that I co-op, and pay all my bills still on my own. It sounds great till you break down the realness about it. I pay bills, making it to where I don’t go out as much, paying off a car now for the next 12 years, rent getting higher every year making me budget differently, paying taxes, and learning what my credit score is and finding out how I have already screwed it up, and how to fix being an adult comes with being in debt and mostly everyone goes through it.  So if you have money issues you’re not the only one my friend….Fun stuff!!

“Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.”

― Kurt Vonnegut

          3. We still Need our Parents Help & Everyone does This

As much as I hate needing my parents help, without them I’m not quite sure I would be in the great state I’m in now. From time to time I have had to have their help, no matter how responsible I’ve tried to be; I have still needed their help to keep afloat. You feel like, to be a grown up you shouldn’t have to run to your parents, but sometimes life doesn’t give you a choice. When I look at my parents, it gives me hope that one day I can have my shit together like they do!

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”

― Anne Frank

    4. Never Give Up

Life is still going to go on whether you like it or not, so you can never give up. People will take you seriously one day, and if you work hard to keep going without quitting. Everyone has failed and made mistakes, but you learn things better that way. Life gets harder and after a certain time people will start looking to you as the person who has the answers…..just know that no one has all the answers. It’s all about faking it until you make it, and that’s one big part of being an adult.

5. Not getting to do or Buy what you want

You wait for payday with hopes to buy things you’ve been waiting to buy, but then your payday gets here and all your money is gone with nothing to show for it. The line “you can buy anything you want when you older” is a kind of a lie. Yes, from time to time I get to spend my money on maybe one thing I want every now and then, or even buy ice cream for myself for lunch instead of something healthy. As soon as payday week comes I break it down too, is this the pay check for rent or bills, and then food and gas for the car for the next two weeks, and lastly anything else the dogs need. Most of the time this leaves me with no room for things I want to do or buy. Less going out with friends like you once did and more Netflix watching. So now I try to save that money back as much as I can so I can buy more things I want because I saved money and invested it into my future.

6. You Start talking to Yourself

“Come on Anita, you need to get up and go to work. You have to make money to live.” “It’s okay Anita, things will get better.” Talking to yourself can help motivate and keep you on track. You don’t always have someone there helping you along the way, so sometimes you have to look to yourself for the answers. Making yourself go to a job you don’t like, booking a dental or doctor’s appointment you’d rather not go to, or even pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to achieve a bigger goal. So whether your helping yourself, remember your to do list or making yourself clean your house, it's okay to talk yourself through every day life.

“I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.”

― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

So we all learned that we are all going to screw up a lot, go in debt, work really hard with sometimes nothing to show for it or really long results, and many failures to come. Good news is that we are all in this together and the things that do work out show that we are growing up just like everyone else. I personally know that I have lots to learn and miles to go, but sharing my thoughts on growing up so far helps me put things in perspective. 

Quotes from http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/growing-up

Anita